Window Shopping: Another Lost Art

When is the last time you took your child to the store just to have fun and spend some time together?  If you are like me shopping usually involves running in the store, getting things as fast as possible, and getting out in time to get to our next obligation.

Just recently I have begun taking my daughter window shopping.  For those of you not familiar with the concept, it is where you just look around but don't buy anything.  I can recall window shopping with my grandmother many, many times.  We always had fun together!  When I take my daughter, I pretty much let her take the lead.  She shows me the things she wants to look at, and we talk about what we see.  On our most recent trip, she pointed out the cans of Pepsi, found the aisle for Mommy's medicine, lined up toy trains, and heard the sounds of a toy police car.  She was so pleased to have Mommy's full attention and did not once ask to buy something.

Next time you feel like getting out of the house or just need to spend some quality time with your child, try the lost art of window shopping.

Talk to Your Kids

Okay, so it sounds simple, but is it really?  Conversation is becoming a lost art.  I find it sad when I walk into a restaurant and see parents on their smartphones and kids on their video game systems.  As a teacher I found the cafeteria to be the clue to who talked at home with their families.  The ones who talk would eat and carry on a conversation during lunch.  The others would eat and then get in trouble because they could not occupy themselves for the remaining time.  Here are some tips for bringing back conversation:

#1  Eat together at the table:  I know lives are busy nowadays, but spending a few minutes together at the table can make a huge difference.  It gives you time to hear about your child's day.  It also gives your child a chance to hear you talk to your spouse and carry on a conversation.  Many manners are also learned at the table (E.g. Saying please/thank you and passing things).

#2  Greet your child and make sure he greets you:  If you are picking your child up in the car rider line, make sure you say hi when he gets in the car.  Make eye contact and convey a message that you are glad to see your child.  At school I would often see parents on their cell phones or just not bother to greet the child.  What a hostile environment it would feel like in that car when you can't even say hello!!  This goes for any time you are seeing your child after time away.  My son often will just mutter or not answer when someone says hello, so this was a habit I needed to break.  He knows that he is expected to respond because it simply is polite.  Keep in mind that your child may not be quite ready to talk about his day yet.  You may get more information if you give your child some time before expecting to hear everything.

#3  Ask your child about his day:  At some point if your child doesn't offer the information, ask your child about his day.  If you have a child that likes to answer things with one word statements, you could try establishing a good, bad, and funny tradition.  Your child has to tell you something good, bad, and funny about the day.  You should do the same about your day.  Children need to learn that conversation is about 2 things: talking and listening.

#4  Have forced family fun:  This is a time when the entire family spends time together.  It could be playing a game, going to the park, getting ice cream, or whatever you would like.  This is a great time to get in some much needed conversation.

#5 Be available:  Try to be aware of the time you are spending glaring at the the tv, looking at your smartphone, or texting on your phone.  Make sure you are available to your children.  If you are constantly stopping your child from talking because you are in the middle of a show or reading something on the computer, maybe you need to cut down on the amount of time you are doing these things.  You only have so many years to be a parent and have an influence on your child, and those years are very important!!

Video Game Tip for Parents

There are some video games that I don't mind except that my son is not mature enough to handle the inappropriate language.   He gets very frustrated when all his friends are allowed to play but he is not.  Now I'm not a fan of the excuse, "Everyone else is doing it," but I also have to realize that I cannot keep my son in a bubble forever.

My neighbor gave me this very simple, but genius tip.  If the only problem you have with the game is inappropriate language, let your child play the game, but only with the sound off.  As she was telling me this I was thinking, "Why didn't I ever think of that?"  This strategy has a bonus too.  It is nice and quiet when he plays the game. :-)

School Doesn't Have to be Scary

What things come to your mind when you think of school?  Are they bad things are good things?  For your child to have the best school experience possible, you are going to have to get involved and stay in touch with the school.  I promise it doesn't have to be scary.  Here are some pointers when dealing with your child's school and teacher.

#1 - Establish a relationship with the teacher at the beginning or very early on.  You should meet your child's teacher, ask questions, tell the teacher some things about your child, and get contact information.  This lets the teacher know that you care about your child having the best experience possible and allows you to get in touch with the teacher if there is a problem.  It also helps you establish a relationship before any problems occur.

#2 - Always make an effort to attend parent/teacher conferences.  It is important that you understand how your child is performing because it gives you a better idea on how you can support your child.  This also gives you an opportunity to ask questions.  Don't just nod your head and smile.  If you have a question, ask it!  The purpose of a conference is to get everybody on the same page.  There is a lot of jargon in education. As a former teacher, I would sometimes "slip up" and use jargon that parents were not familiar with.  It is important to ask if you don't understand something.  It will not make you look dumb, but will actually let the teacher know that you are actively listening.

#3 - Make contact before a problem gets out of hand.  Sometimes children have problems but are afraid to tell the teacher about them.  While you need to let your child know she needs to talk to the teacher, you should also talk to the teacher.
For instance, I once had a child who was being bullied by another child in Kindergarten.  It was happening on the playground with my assistant and was not physical, so she didn't notice it.  I was not aware of the problem at all until one day his mother spoke to me about it.  We were able to take care of the problem immediately, and I even got a cute "thank you" note during writing time from him thanking me for taking care of the problem.
Teachers are not scary!  Please talk to them if you are concerned!  

I will add some more tips soon, but this will give you a good starting place.  Please ask any other questions you may have regarding school or another issue.