Bad Habits: Are They Yours or Hers?

This issue can get touchy, but I'm going to jump in anyway. :-)

There are many things that are tricky and your children get older.  "How do I get my child to sleep in her own crib?  When do I take her pacifier away?  When do I switch from bottles to sippy cups"  The list can go on and on and on.  I hear people complain about these issues all the time because the transition can be tough.  Here is the touchy question:   

***Is the problem really your child's problem, or is it your problem?  ***

 Let's face it; it's hard to let your little ones grow up.  Putting your baby in her own crib means she is not an infant any more.  Switching to a sippy cup means your little baby is moving toward toddler-hood.  Some of us just aren't ready to deal with these things.  At some point, though, you are going to have to face reality.  We can't keep our kids little forever.  We can either help them meet milestones with confidence or we can hold them back and make them dependent on us.  If your child will not sleep in her own bed, examine what messages you have been sending her.  Do you rush in right away and say, "It's okay honey!  I know you're scared.  Mommy won't leave you again."?  Or maybe you make an excuse such as she isn't feeling well, or she is getting a tooth, or there is a noise somewhere.  While these may be true, are they really the reason your child isn't sleeping, or is it an excuse to let her stay little a bit longer?  What you need to do is keep things consistent and assure her that she will be okay.  Even if it breaks your heart, put on a good, confident show for her, and then you can go cry in another room.
Let's examine the case of the pacifier.  Do you tell her she is getting too old for her pacifier, and then give it back at the first melt-down or scrape after falling?  Do you give it back to her just because it in thundering while she is trying to sleep?  Once again, you need to be careful of the messages you are sending.  Children are brilliant at picking up on inconsistencies.

Remember:
Children don't know what it good for them; all they know is what they want now.  It is your job as the parent to do what is best for them.