Children: How Do I Get Out the Door With Them?

Q:  How do you get out the door when you have more than one child, and there is always a feeding/dirty diaper/meltdown, etc.?

A:  That is a great question!  Don't we all wish we could wave our magic wands and have everyone packed and ready to go?  Unfortunately when my children came along I guess they were out of magic wands.  :-)  So, here are some tips to make it go as smoothly as possible.

**Get as much as possible ready the night before or earlier in the day.  When I take my 3 little ones on an outing such as the park, I try to fix their lunches, snacks, and sippy cups the night before.  I make sure I have diapers and anything else I might need.

**I usually aim to leave about 20 minutes before I actually have to leave.  This allows for any dirty diapers, meltdowns, phone calls, etc.

**I often load the toddlers in the car first and then finish getting the rest of the car packed.  This works well for me since my garage is attached to the house.  I know for some people it wouldn't work as well.  Usually the toddlers have a little baggie with a snack so they are fine to wait a few minutes, and they are already buckled in so they are staying out of trouble. 

**Make a checklist.  I have a checklist on my iPod for bigger trips such as the park.  This way, I make sure not to forget anything important.  It helps me think clearly when things are hurried and stressful.

What tips do you have? Everyone has strategies that work for them.  Please share anything that makes getting out the door easier for you.

Swimming Success!

My daughter used her new floatie today and did great!  It keeps her up pretty well.  She still needs some help of course because she does not understand how to kick to move around, but that will be the next thing we work on.  I give the floatie a high recommendation!  My nephew also had his first day in the big pool today.  He was very clingy at first, but with support and encouragement he was splashing around and having a great time!

This picture is from target.com.  It is called the Puddle Jumper Deluxe.

Great Swimming Device!

Is your child fearless in the water?  My daughter is absolutely nuts!  She just wants to go, and she does not want Mommy to hold her back.  Her favorite thing right now is to get out and jump in.  (Did I mention she is only 2? Lol!)  My friend had this great new thing for her daughter, and I am so excited for my daughter to try one on Friday!  It has the traditional floaties for the arms, but then it has a floatation strip in between the arm floaties that helps to keep the head above water.  We found ours at Target, but I know they have them at Babies R Us also.  They are a little under $20.  My friend's daughter is 4, and it worked perfectly for her.  I will report back on Friday to let you know how it works for a 2-year old.

Toddlers Are Sponges

Have you noticed that your toddlers seem to learn something new every day? Toddlerhood is a busy and sometimes frustrating stage, but it is so amazing. My daughter has learned so much. I wanted to tell you about some things she has learned to give you some examples of how to optimize this prime learning time in your child's life.
*She has learned most of her capital letters and some lowercase letters. No, we don't do flashcards every day, and no, we don't have one of those video programs that you sit your child in front of that promise that your child will be reading by age 3. She has picked up letters from me talking to her, pointing out things, and playing with her. I use names a lot. She gets excited to see letters that stand for people she loves (e.g. B for Brenda, D for Daddy, etc.). She also loves puzzles, so I got her some puzzles that have letters. At first I would hand her the pieces and let her put them in. As she picked up more letters, I would tell her the ones to find. Now she is starting to know a little bit of the order. It is simply amazing. We were in the car yesterday passing High Point University. She looked at the sign and all the sudden I heard, "T for Thomas". Then I heard, "I for ice cream". She was pointing out letters on the sign and was so proud of herself.

*As I have mentioned before, children love songs. Your child will think you are the best singer in the world even if you are tone deaf. Sing out, be enthusiastic, and don't worry about anything else. There are so many good songs out there. Songs teach children the alphabet, counting, rhyming, etc. If you need some good music, check out the library. I know the High Point Public Library has a ton of cds right when you walk in the children's room.

*Point out objects and talk to your children while out and about. My daughter can get very restless in the car, but she loves to watch everything going by. She now knows so many of the things we pass in the car and says "hi" and "buh-bye" to each one. For instance, we often pass the train tracks, the playground, and a large replica of a dresser. She is also starting to recognize our road sign. Today I decided to tell her the directions on the way home to give her things to look for. I told her we would go over the train tracks, down the road, turn on Banbridge, pass the geese, and then we would be home. I repeated it over and over sometimes leaving words out, and she would fill them in. She was excited to tell Daddy how we got home when she saw him.

These are just some ideas, but the possibilities are endless. Being a former Kindergarten teacher, I have seen young children learn, but nothing beats toddlerhood for maximum learning!

Young Children and Swimming

My daughter loves the water!  As I reflected on some time spent with some other mothers and their children at the pool today, I thought I would share some swimming advice. 

*First of all, expose your child to pools at an early age (preferably before they are old enough to resist). 
*There are some great products you can get for the pool for young children.  You can get swimsuits with pads in them and inner tubes that are made specially for babies (many with canopies over the top to shade from the sun).  Also at Target and Babies R Us, they have floaties that have a chest piece that keeps the head from going forward. 
*Don't project your fears onto your child.  Teach your child important safety rules at the pool but don't overemphasize the worst case scenario (e.g. drowning).  You can be cautious without scaring your child.
*Be considerate of your child's fears.  If your child is terrified, help her work through her fears one step at a time.  It can be scarring to a child to throw her in to help her overcome her fear.  Start slowly.  Let her experience the pool with you.  Then work on her holding on to the side.  Then work on moving a foot or so away from you.  Assure your child she will be okay and don't force her.  Praise her for her accomplishments. 

Being in the pool should be fun!  Enjoy the bonding time with your child!

UKY3SBR8VECF

Parenting When You Are in a Bad Mood

Q: What makes you feel better when you are in a bad mood?

A:  It depends on why I am in a bad mood.  First of all, I think it is important to articulate to older children that you need some space because you are in a bad mood.  This way your child has the "heads up", before setting you off.  If I am very tired, I will either let my 2-year old watch a favorite video (reserved for special times) or take her up to her room where I can lay down on the floor and not have to worry about her getting into trouble.  Sometimes I need to get out to improve my mood, so we may jump into the car and go out to the mall or playground.  It just depends.  Now you might have been thinking, "What if the older child does not leave you alone?"  My younger son is notorious for that.  Even though I tell him that I just need some time alone, he either feels the need to cheer me up or just totally ignores the fact that I want to be alone.  In this case, he will be given an ultimatum to go do something in another room or he will be sent to his room.  Obviously if your bad mood lasts for a long time, and you cannot seem to get over it, then you need to talk to your doctor.

Tattling Vs. Problem Solving

"Mom!  She stuck her tongue out at me!" 

Ever heard something like this?  This would be an example of tattling.  As parents we want to protect our children from everything, but the truth is, we cannot.  Because of this reality, we need to teach our children how to be good problem solvers.  Before we get into that let me define two types of problems for you.  "Big problem" are things such as punching, setting fires, kicking, breaking something, etc.  "Small problems" are things such as sticking out a tongue, tapping, calling names, and not sharing.  Our job as parents is to teach our children some strategies to use to deal with the small problems and when to get help. 

Here are some things your child can do on her own to deal with a small problem:
**Walk away
**Ignore
**Ask the other person to stop
**Find someone else to play with
**Work out a deal (Ex. "If you play this game with me, I will play your game with you".)

Your child also needs to know about bullying.  If small problems go on and on after strategies have been tried, then the problem has turned into bullying, which is a big problem.  When there is a big problem, your child needs to know how to get an adult that they trust to help in the situation.

If you teach your child these things early, they will be much more confident as they get older and encounter more situations.

Spoiling With Good Intentions

Spoiling is an age-old concern.  Most parents wonder from the very beginning how to balance being loving and attentive with not spoiling.  I don't know anyone who spoils their children with bad intentions.  Let me illustrate this for you from the perspective of a teacher.  In Kindergarten at the beginning of the year I see many different levels of independence.  There are children who are confident walking in on their own, taking care of their things, and even some who can tie their own shoes already.  On the other end of the spectrum there are children who look at you and wait to be told exactly what to do.  They come to you to put their coats on, run up to you because their milk is not opened, and some still have trouble buttoning their pants.  I don't think any parent ends up with a child like the second example because they want them to be dependent all their lives.  In my experience, there are two things that cause this scenario.  One thing is out of love, we often don't like to see our chlidren struggle.  Children get frustrated, and it is our reaction to fly in and save the day.  Another cause is our hurried lifestyles.  Let's face it;  Americans are often overscheduled.  We have work, school, baseball, dance, Boy Scouts, church, and the list goes on.  In a rush to get everywhere on time, we often do everything for our children in an effort to get them done more quickly. 

Let me give you a theory that can help you overcome "spoiling with good intentions".  I learned about Lev Vygotsky in college, and his theory has always stuck in my head.  It is called the zone of proximal development.  Basically it includes things your child is capable of learning and the things that she can learn with a little bit of help.  Let me illustrate this with an example of my daughter's adventures in dressing.  When she was a year old, she figured out on her own how to take her shoes off.  At first it took some effort, and now she does it with no problem.  This was something she was capable of learning on her own.  Right now she is working on pulling her own pants up.  If I didn't help her at all, this skill would be very frustrating for her, but when I coach her on where to hold them, she is able to be successful.  I could do this for her, but she is so proud of herself when she is able to accomplish this on her own.  What we need to do as parents to help our children become more independent is to know what our children are capable of, and give them a little bit of help to become proficient with more things.

Here are some examples of self-help skills that your children can work on as they grow:

**Brushing Teeth - My daughter is 2.  I brush her teeth first, and then I give her the toothbrush and let her brush her own teeth. 

**Dressing - Start with easy things like Velcro shoes and socks.  Then move to things such as jackets, pants, and shirts. 

**Feeding - Babies start by using fingers, young toddlers start to use forks and spoons a little and get better as they grow.

**Cleaning - Very young children can help to clean up.  The more fun you make it and the more you praise them, the more willing they will be.

The list could go on and on.  Just encourage your children along the way, coach when necessary, and be able to recognize when your child is not quite ready to master a skill.

Naps and Young Children

Naps can be difficult as your children get older, but most children still need them until Kindergarten or later.  In my experience, children who take an afternoon nap are more pleasant and sleep better at night too.  Here is the trick to getting a nap time routine started.  First of all, you need to create a predictable set of events.  At my house we clean up, use the bathroom/change diapers, pick out a book, and then go upstairs.  I am aware that older children often think they are too old for naps.  That is fine, but they need to take a "quiet time".  "Quiet time" can be used for reading or sleeping.  Your child can take a book or two with her to bed, but must stay there for a designated amount of time.  I would think an hour should be the minimum amount of time.  This allows enough time for the child to get recharged and for you to have a short break.  It also gives enough time for your child to settle down enough to fall asleep if her body needs sleep.  Many creative children come up with excuses to get out of taking naps or stall, but if you are consistent, eventually your child will get used to the routine.

Quality Time With Your Children Anywhere

I have to admit that it brings me great joy to see parents having quality time with their children wherever they are.  One of the best ways to do this is to talk, talk, talk. 
**When you are driving, talk about the things you see.  With younger children you can point out familiar objects such as trains, animals, trees, and stop signs.  With older children, you can talk about where you are going, how you will get there, or play some words games. 
**At the grocery store, involve your children in the shopping.  Tell them what you are looking for, let them help look for it, and have them put it in the cart.  For young children who sit in the shopping cart, this is a great time to sing some songs quietly.  When my daughter was younger, I found a great song that can last a long time.  It goes to the tune of "The Wheels on the Bus".  "The cows on the farm go moo, moo, moo (repeat twice); The cows on the farm go moo, moo, moo all night long."  After you have done as many animals as you can think of, "The farmer on the farm goes shh, shh, shh (repeat twice); The farmer on the farm goes shh, shh, shh so I can go to sleep". 
**Take a trip to the zoo.  For young children, name the animals and talk about what they are doing.  For older children, take time to read the signs and teach them about the animals.  The more excited you get about the animals and facts, the more interested your children will be.
**Eat dinners together and talk.  I grew up in a home where dinnertime happened in front of the television.  Fortunately my parents used many other opportunities to talk to me.  My husband and I felt it was important to begin a tradition of eating meals together.  Especially now that we have a teenager, dinner is one of the few times that he is around talking to us.  When you go out to eat, talk and enjoy the company.  I hate to see children out to eat with their video games.  I just think it is a missed opportunity for bonding.
 **Waiting in line can be annoying and stressful, but it doesn't have to be.  Use this time as learning and bonding with your children.  You can search for different colors, shapes, letters, or number, you can play games such as "I Spy", or you can sing some more songs quietly.

Advocating For Your Child

Advocating for your child is one of the most important jobs you will have as a parent.  I was a teacher for many years before I took children into my home.  Because I knew a lot about the school system, it made it a lot easier to get exactly what my children needed in school.  Unfortunately not all parents have this inside information.  Here are some examples of things I had to advocate for:

**My boys both had a time when they tried really hard but did not pass their End of Grade Tests.  The school said Level 2s were automatically retested, but I did not feel it would be beneficial to my children.  We found out that it was not a requirement, and we could send a note saying we did not want them retested.  My younger son's school did not give us trouble, but we had to call the county before my older son's school accepted the note.

**My older son was way behind in school when he came to us.  To a teacher, he would look like a student who did not care at all.  Because we knew him best, we had the insight that he had missed a lot of school in the past and had very low self confidence.  He would work hard for teachers that had a relationship with him and really expected him to do well, but for other teachers he would not do much.  For a few years, we would send out e-mails at the beginning of the year to his teachers letting them know some background about him and what we expected of them.  For example, we wanted to be notified as soon as he started having trouble, because once report cards came, it was often too late to fix the problem.  Now that he has seen some success in school, he has a little more confidence, and we have only had to intervene in one class.

I realize that navigating the school system is hard, so please ask any questions you have.  My husband and I are both teachers and have a lot of experience in the school system.  He is also working on his Masters in Administration, so he has insight on that level also. 

There is another place where I have found that advocating is necessary, and that is the medical system.  My daughter has been having problems with fevers for awhile.  Her doctor has not been able to find anything wrong with her.  She was sent on to an immunologist who came up with a theory that she doesn't sweat.  It seemed to be a good theory because when we would cool her down with cold water or keep the thermostat in the house down low, she would be so much happier.  Her condition, anhidrosis, is rare, and little is well known about it.  Fortunately I found a support group online which made me realize I will have to do more research and let the doctors know what I want them to look for.  Our hope is to find out what is causing the condition.  We were sent to a dermatologist in Winston-Salem.  He was not helpful at all and was very rude.  He didn't listen to anything I had to say, and seemed to contradict the research I had done.  He did not feel her condition was sweat related at all.  I had found out about a sweat test that can be done, and after the other doctor talked to him, he thought that would be a good thing to pursue.  My doctor is wonderful, and when I came in with the information I had found, he was more than willing to do a referral. 

Here is the bottom line:  YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD BEST!   If someone tells you something that doesn't seem quite right, do some research, and advocate for your child.

New Baby and Sleep Deprivation

Q:  Hi Jennifer. I am a mommy to 4 children! My oldest just turned 6 and will start school in the fall, then my 4 year old, my 2 year old, and finally my newborn. I just had our fourth and last baby, and I am TIRED. This baby required a c-section and I am in a lot of pain. I am also up a lot with the baby and have no energy for my 3 other children. My family all lives across the country, so it's mainly me until my husband Mark gets home from work. I do pretty well, except for the lack of sleep thing! My question is: do you think it's OK for me to nap with the baby and allow my children to play in the house (never outside unless I'm there)? We have locks up high on all the doors to make sure they cannot unlock the doors themselves and go outside without us knowing. My kids play very well together. Do you have any other tips for taking care of little ones while also dealing with the pain of birth and severe sleep deprivation? Thank you so much! I am sure I will have other questions for you in the future!!!!!!!!!!!!

A:  Congratulations on your new little one!  I know it can be exhausting.  While I cannot relate to going through a C-Section, I got my youngest when she was 3 days old, and was going through some anxiety/panic attack problems that were leaving my energy supply depleted.  First of all, you know your children best, but I would be nervous leaving a 2-year old unsupervised.  My daughter gets in to so many things, that I would be nervous what would happen without supervision.  When I was really sick and alone with my daughter when she was young, I would go in her room (which was very baby-proof) and lay on the floor with a blanket.  She was able to play without getting into trouble, while I drifted off to sleep on the floor.  I was close enough by that I could hear if there was any trouble.  I would think with strict guidelines, your 4-year old and 6-year old could play in another room while you get a little bit of sleep.  I would also recommend having your husband be part of the night routine.  My husband and I would work it out so he would be up until midnight to cover any feedings, and I would take anything after that.  That way we both got some uninterrupted sleep.  If you are nursing, I would highly recommend introducing the bottle and pumping enough for your husband to take a shift.  You both have to take care of yourselves.  On the topic of sleep deprivation, I would definitely have a "rest time" for everyone.  Of course I know the baby is not necessarily on a schedule yet, but there should be some quiet time where everyone either naps or takes some books to read.  If your children are flexible, you could try to work it out so they are doing this at the same time your baby is sleeping.  Hope that gives you some useful information!  Just know it will get better; hang in there!

Children Reading: Creating a Love of Reading at an Early Age

I will never forget a conversation I had with a parent of one of my first graders my first year of teaching.  She had three lovely daughters, but they were all very different.  She said as a baby, her oldest child always had books in her playpen, and now she loves to read.  The middle child was always near the television, and now her favorite thing to do is watch television.  The youngest always had some sort of game to play with, and now her favorite thing to do is play video games.  I always remembered this conversation, so when I started raising my youngest, I made sure to always have books nearby.  I acted as if they were a reward and something very special.  Now my daughter's favorite thing to do is to read books.  At 2 she sometimes sits with me, and we read 10-20 books before she is ready to get down. 

Here are some tips to foster a love of reading at an early age:

**Always have books available to your child.  (I recommend checking out garage sales.  You can get a great library started very inexpensively.)

**Start a reading routine when your child is an infant.  Reading a book is a great thing to do right before going to bed.  (If you haven't started this routine already, it is never too late to start.)

**Books make great rewards!  If your child has done something extra special, and you decide to get her something, get her a book.  This reinforces the idea that books are something special and builds your child's library.

**Go to the library with your child weekly.  Get excited about getting new books.  If you are excited, your child will be excited too.  If you are free during the day, many libraries have great story time programs for young children.  I recommend having a special location for library books, so they don't get lost.

**Be mindful of some different stages of reading:

• Infant: Loves the sound of your voice, so you can read anything.
• Older baby: Wants to grab the book and turn pages.  Touch and Feel books are great!  Note that you will need books with very few words on a page.  It is okay if your child skips around.  Let her enjoy the book even if you don't read the whole story.
• Toddler: Begins to have favorite stories and will start to read parts of the story with you.  She may still want to skip around.  Sometime she will sit and read the book herself.  Praise her attempts even though they may sound like babble.
• Preschooler: Loves books with more of a story.  She will probably have favorite characters she likes to read about.  Start encouraging her to "read" books herself.  She can do this by looking at the pictures and inventing the story.  Make sure you let her know how proud of her you are for reading.
• Elementary School Child: This age begins the exciting process of learning how to read the actual words on a page.  Your child will probably bring home books to read from school.  Be sure to praise your child as she reads these books, but don't forget to still read to your child.  Beginning readers do not have much of a story.  She still needs to hear good reading modeled.  
• Older School Child: At this age, children are reading chapter books.  It is important to get them books they are excited about reading.  Your child may still want you to read with her.  You could take turns reading chapters at night.  Keep up the routine of going to the library.  

Teenagers and Chores

I will admit that my children have had it pretty easy in the almost 4 years they have lived with me, but that is going to change.  I find myself exhausted trying to be a good mom and a good housekeeper.  I cannot fit in the house work normally until the little one is in bed.  I decided last night that the kids are out of school and should be helping a lot more, so I developed a chore chart.  Here are some tips in creating one:

**Specify a time of day: I suggest a chore with a certain time of the day to be done (e.g. after dinner).  This minimizes the arguments starting with "I'll do it later".
** Fair does not mean equal: Children of different ages may have different responsibilities.  Fair is giving each child a reasonable amount that she can handle.
**Consistent Chores: I recommend giving your child a certain chore that she can become proficient at.  You can switch the chores up every so often, but I don't recommend switching them daily.
**Give away chores that you can give up some control on: Let's face it!  There are some things I am very picky about.  I like the dishwasher loaded a certain way, so most of the dishes will fit.  This is a chore I kept for myself so I don't have to stand over my children and drive them crazy.  Once again, this will minimize arguments.
**Praise! Praise! Praise!: Let your child know how much you appreciate his help.  If you are relaxing or spending time with him, you may want to point out that it was possible because of his help.

ADHD and Car Trips

I find that one of the biggest trouble spots for my younger son is the car. Children with ADHD are not especially good at being still and quiet. For some children the scenery is a good distraction, but not for my son. Car rides consist of him picking on his sister, driving everyone crazy with random questions, and making obnoxious noises. I would like to share some of the ideas I have found. I will share in the future which ones work the best for us.

**Have a special bag for car trips including books, paper, pencils, games, or any other small items that your child is interested in.
**Bring videos or video games for your child to play. (I really don't love this all the time, but for long trips, it gives us all some sanity.)
**Let everyone listen to an audiobook on cd. (You can get these at the library.)
**Play a game such as road trip bingo, find signs with the letters, or find license plates with different states. Here is a link to some printable games: http://travelwithkids.about.com/cs/printgames/a/gamesprint.htm.
**Bring a MagnaDoodle, an etch-a-sketch, or a Leap Frog learning system.
**On long trips, stop every 2 hours, and find a place with either space to run or a Play Place. If you are in a hurry get your child's food to go, and let her play while you eat.
**Make sure you bring some snacks and drinks along.

Disciplining Toddlers: Teaching Expectations

I was reminded of a good procedure to follow when disciplining toddlers.  I will use an example from last night's baseball game to illustrate.

Step 1: State your expectation.  You need to leave your shoes on.

Step 2: Give the ultimatum if the behavior continues.  If you take your shoes off again, you will have to sit in the stroller.

Step 3: Follow through if the behavior continues.  The child would be placed in the stroller.

Step 4: After a reasonable amount of time, review your expectations, and give another chance.  (Toddlers have short memories and need lots of practice at following expectations.)  Are you ready to get down and play?  You have to leave your shoes on to get down.  

(Repeat above procedure.)

Parenting Teenagers: Some Basic Guidelines

Q:  What are the best ways of dealing with teenagers?

A:  That is a great question! Teenagers can be quite challenging. Here are some things that come to mind:

***BE AVAILABLE, BUT NOT PUSHY
I think this is very important. I find that my son is not very talkative most of the time, but I need to make myself available whenever the moment comes that he feels like talking. If I don't take the time to talk with him right away, chances are that when I am ready, the moment will have passed, and I will have missed my chance.

***NEVER MISS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET INTO YOUR CHILD'S WORLD
My son recently became interested in Yu-Gi-Oh cards and battles. One day he decided that I would be good at it and should make a deck. I really had no intentions of doing it at first, but I accepted some cards from one of his friends. This led to quite a few nights of Yu-Gi-Oh battles. We had a great time, and it was a great way to bond.

***LET THEM LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES
I find that there are still times that privileges need to be taken away, but teenagers learn best from "natural consequences". For example, my son recently broke a window with a baseball. Even though it was an accident, it was the result of him throwing the ball side arm. He has been told over and over not to throw that way, because the ball does not go where he wants it to. When he told me he broke the window, I did not get angry. I calmly explained to him that, while it was an unfortunate situation, he would be responsible for paying for the window.

***ALWAYS BE A MENTOR
While teenagers need to learn from their mistakes, their brains are not fully developed. Even though they are beginning to look more like adults, they still need a lot of guidance and boundaries. Yes, it is their role to test them, but be consistent. I promise they will not hate you forever despite what they may say. The teenage years are often the years of rebellion as they test their independence and search for their identity, but most of the time they will come back around to the values you have modeled for them. I'm not saying to preach a sermon, but let them know things that are important to you. I think a big issue nowadays is sexual relations. While the statistics show that many teens are sexually active, let them know how you feel. Personally I feel that sex is something special reserved for marriage. Alcohol is another big issue. Many people drink socially, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. I have always stayed away from alcohol only because I don't like the thought of a substance having control over me. I have shared this view with my children. In the end it will be their decision, but it is good for them to know what alcohol is capable of. As I mentioned above, I don't preach sermons to my children, but I slip in my morals whenever the chance arises.

***MORE TRUST = MORE FREEDOM
Every teenager is different. Being fair is not doing the same thing for every teenager, but giving every teenager what she needs. Reward her trustworthiness with more freedom. If she consistently lets you know where she is, you may be more willing to let her go more places or stay out later. As I said before, teenagers still need limits and boundaries. The ones who show less responsibility may still be immature and need more limits. You know your child best.

If you have any more specific questions that I did not answer, feel free to ask another question.

Head Banging Temper Tantrums

I received an excellent question regarding temper tantrums:

Q:  What would you do if they were head bangers during those temper tantrums? :-)

A:  I would recommend one of two things. If the area where the child is head banging is soft where no damage could be done to the child, I would leave the child be and try the distraction method. If the child's safety (or your other children's safety) is in question, I would probably give the child a modified time out with you where you take the child to a spot away (maybe a couch, soft chair, or bed) and let her finish out her temper tantrum. You could bring something like a book to use for distraction.

Temper Tantrums

As I was dealing with my daughter in her "terrific twos" (Haha!), I was reminded of some important rules of temper tantrums.

#1  If you know your child is not hurt, ignore the temper tantrum.  The more attention you give your child,
       the worse the tantrum will be.

#2  Try distracting your child by getting involved in something else.  My daughter loves reading, so
       sometimes I will just go over to the couch and start reading a book out loud.  Of course, I don't even
       look at her.  I act like I'm just enjoying the book myself.  Most of the time, within a minute or two, she
       will quiet down and join me.

#3  Most importantly, don't give in!  If you give in, you are reinforcing that temper tantrum behavior is an
      acceptable way to get what you want.

Parenting Advice: Submit a Question

I am new to the blogging scene.  As I had more time to use the program today, I figured out a way you can contact me.  I will respond to comments, but if you click on my complete profile, you can e-mail me a question.  Then I will put the question and answer in a new post.

Welcome parents and caregivers!  I am very excited to start this blog!  Please ask any questions relating to children that you have.