Submit a Question About ParentingI am new to the blogging scene. As I had more time to use the program today, I figured out a way you can contact me. I will respond to comments, but if you click on my complete profile, you can e-mail me a question. Then I will put the question and answer in a new post.
I am so proud of you for starting a blog! You are going to do Great at it.
ReplyDeleteWhat are the best ways of dealing with teenagers?
ReplyDeleteThat is a great question! Teenagers can be quite challenging. Here are some things that come to mind:
ReplyDelete***BE AVAILABLE, BUT NOT PUSHY
I think this is very important. I find that my son is not very talkative most of the time, but I need to make myself available whenever the moment comes that he feels like talking. If I don't take the time to talk with him right away, chances are that when I am ready, the moment will have passed, and I will have missed my chance.
***NEVER MISS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET INTO YOUR CHILD'S WORLD
My son recently became interested in Yu-Gi-Oh cards and battles. One day he decided that I would be good at it and should make a deck. I really had no intentions of doing it at first, but I accepted some cards from one of his friends. This led to quite a few nights of Yu-Gi-Oh battles. We had a great time, and it was a great way to bond.
***LET THEM LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES
I find that there are still times that privileges need to be taken away, but teenagers learn best from "natural consequences". For example, my son recently broke a window with a baseball. Even though it was an accident, it was the result of him throwing the ball side arm. He has been told over and over not to throw that way, because the ball does not go where he wants it to. When he told me he broke the window, I did not get angry. I calmly explained to him that, while it was an unfortunate situation, he would be responsible for paying for the window.
***ALWAYS BE A MENTOR
While teenagers need to learn from their mistakes, their brains are not fully developed. Even though they are beginning to look more like adults, they still need a lot of guidance and boundaries. Yes, it is their role to test them, but be consistent. I promise they will not hate you forever despite what they may say. The teenage years are often the years of rebellion as they test their independence and search for their identity, but most of the time they will come back around to the values you have modeled for them. I'm not saying to preach a sermon, but let them know things that are important to you. I think a big issue nowadays is sexual relations. While the statistics show that many teens are sexually active, let them know how you feel. Personally I feel that sex is something special reserved for marriage. Alcohol is another big issue. Many people drink socially, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. I have always stayed away from alcohol only because I don't like the thought of a substance having control over me. I have shared this view with my children. In the end it will be their decision, but it is good for them to know what alcohol is capable of. As I mentioned above, I don't preach sermons to my children, but I slip in my morals whenever the chance arises.
***MORE TRUST = MORE FREEDOM
Every teenager is different. Being fair is not doing the same thing for every teenager, but giving every teenager what she needs. Reward her trustworthiness with more freedom. If she consistently lets you know where she is, you may be more willing to let her go more places or stay out later. As I said before, teenagers still need limits and boundaries. The ones who show less responsibility may still be immature and need more limits. You know your child best.
If you have any more specific questions that I did not answer, feel free to ask another question.